Philippians 4:6 And the peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
My life has been pretty simple and easy in comparison to others. I come from a good family who supports me. As a kid, I went to church and learned about Jesus, eventually accepting him as my Savior in my pre-teens. It was not until I was in my early twenties, in the midst of being hit with the realities of adulthood, that I felt like that faith in Jesus was tested. My career plan was falling apart, and my marriage seemed to be slipping away as a casualty of that. I was holding tightly to what I envisioned my life would be and the career I expected to have. I’m a planner, with a plan or goal for one week, one year, five years, and even ten years from now. My brain loves to develop lists and plans as a way for me to control things around me.
As I fought to leave the “back-up” career of teaching to get into something I wanted to do, I started to feel fatigue and fear. I had a strong desire to have a job that I felt passionate about. My prayers endlessly begged God to open the doors to a job I could have a passion about. Instead, He kept closing doors with no direction for where I should go. Eventually I was so tired spinning in circles that one day, in the middle of my office, I fell to my knees in tears. I sat on the floor with the feeling of shame and I gave up trying to seek that perfect job. In the weeks that followed, God finally gave me the clarity I had been praying for. As I started applying for teaching jobs again, door after door was opened. Eventually leading to an amazing school who called me before I even got home from the interview to tell me they wanted to offer me the job.
Though I ended up right back in the same career, God changed my heart and perspective. He didn’t change my circumstances because He was changing my heart. And He revealed to me that I should not be striving to find a job I had a passion for, but instead do the job He called me to with a passion for Him to be glorified through me. This hard-hitting lesson has now guided me through my teaching career, which I learned to love and confidently did for Him. Then my faith gave me peace as He guided me from that calling into becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom, who now faithfully follows His calling to write.
Despite all these changes to my career and life in just a few years, I have ultimately found peace in giving my all to Him. My life, my heart, my career, and my skills. My plan was ok, but it was not what God called me to. His plan was so much bigger and better than I could ever imagine. And putting my faith, hope and trust in my Heavenly Father has given me an amazing, indescribable peace that “surpasses all understanding”. That moment where I felt so broken, awakened my soul and desire to pursue God whole-heartedly. It taught me how to seek His wisdom and guidance through every decision. That no matter what my job is, my faith and my relationship with Christ should be my first priority. When I do that, everything else falls into place and becomes clear.